This article is part of a series for beginners interested in S&M/B&D
Becoming an expert in bondage techniques takes experience. You're not going to become an expert in one easy step, but you will get there with practice, information, experience, and the right equipment. Starting out is merely getting the fundamental tools and starting where you are. It's best to start out small and slow. You'll have lots of time later for big investments and marathon bondage sessions.
The first stop is rope. There are two types that will work great for bondage play: clothesline and nylon. Go to any home supply store and get some of each. Cut it into various lengths between 7 and 15 feet. You'll want to have shorter lengths for some things such as tying feet, wrists, or cocks, and longer for others, such as around chests and arms or thighs. Once cut you may want to protect the ends from fraying. Nylon cord is easy to melt with a candle's flame. Heat it enough so that it begins to melt and then form it into a secure end. You'll have to be a bit more creative with the frayed ends of clothesline. I immersed the ends of my first ropes in liquid plastic and then let the ends dry by setting it on wax paper.
Clothesline is nice because it ties easily and is flexible. It tends to get dirty and sometimes the knots can be more difficult to untie. Nylon, on the other hand, seems to stay cleaner and is easier to loosen. The down side to this is that nylon knots tend to loosen too easily. You can get it in various thicknesses ( 3 , 3/8, 2 inch for instance) and lengths . Try using the 3/8 inch rope, any thinner is more dangerous and thicker will he harder to work with. In any case, among these three choices it's probably more a question of esthetics than safety, as long as you tie knots safely in the first place.
Avoid twine, any thin rope or thread, and any rope made of a rough material. Be mindful that the thinner the cord, the more liable it is to cut or otherwise damage skin. Thin cords are more dangerous too in that they will more easily cut off your bottom's circulation. An exception might be the use of nylon twine where you use lots of twine to weave your bondage around your bottom. Here I emphasize weaving as opposed to tying per se, though it may be just a matter of terminology. If the tying is done so that the twine remains snug enough to stay but loose enough so as not to constrict, the bondage can be a real work of art.
Ropes aren't the only tools for tying. Chains and lashing straps are somewhere to be found in every hardware store. A pair of 9 foot straps would be useful for bondage to a cross, chair, or sawhorse or to secure a bottom's arms to his chest. There's a use for stretch cords too if you have the place for them. When buying chain, a good size is 1/4". Measure how much you'll need beforehand, unless you have a pair of cutters at home to adjust it later. Add an inch or so to your measurements as it's always better to have it too long than too short. With the chains you'll also need bolt snaps . These are double-ended snaps, you'll need several of these to secure the chain. They're very cheap, so don't worry about buying too many.
Chain can serve several purposes. It certainly works as a bondage material, though you'll want to get leather restraints to attach your bottom to the chain. It's not as comfortable as rope but it does pose less danger. Here again it's a matter of taste and the kind of scene you're both into. More often chain serves as a great point of attachment. You can, for instance, run a length of chain around the edge of your bed and then tie your bottom spread eagle on the bed. Each link serves as a point of attachment. The nice thing about an arrangement such as this is that the equipment is portable, storable, easily hidden, and usable without altering furniture or walls.
Where to tie
Once you've got all your materials, you have to decide what to tie and where. You can either tie the bottom to himself, such as one wrist to another wrist; or tie him to some other object, such as a chair or hook. The first alternative, tying to himself, is certainly the one that takes the least amount of equipment. Rope and chain around flesh or clothes can be its own erotic look. As you bind your partner keep several safety points in mind. Never tie so as to constrict the flow of blood. Either make your knots loose enough to be safe or make them in such a way as to insure that the rope is sufficiently spaced. Putting inner wrist to inner wrist, for instance, and then tying around both wrists is a good way to bind safely. Never tie anything around his neck, obstruct the nasal passages, or gag completely.
Your bottom's position is also a safety factor. Never leave a person tied face down in a prone position. Never support your partner solely with ropes or chains unless they are super strong and the body is fully and safely supported by adequate harnesses.
One of the reasons we use bondage, such as in a whipping session, is to insure that the bottom can struggle safely. The last thing you want is a boy who is flailing left and right. Bondage that is too loose may cause rope burns. The over-riding principal in any bondage scene is to check with your boy often to insure that all is going well. Let him know to warn you of numbness or dizziness. It's your responsibility as the top to make sure that no body parts cool off, a sign of restricted circulation.
An Introduction to bondage assumes that you want to use what's handy for equipment. In the long run you'll build or acquire more elaborate bondage gear such as sawhorse, dog cage, or restraint table. But what's a beginner to do? Look around. Use a footstool, straight back chair, bed, desk, table, toilet, or staircase railing. All of these offer practical points for attaching, depending upon your purpose. Chairs work well for bondage for the sake of bondage or to tie your partner for a tickling session, CBT, or nipple play. A bed is more conducive to whipping his back or fucking. A low stool and a bed with a foot board combine very well. Perhaps you could lay a chair on its back to restrain your partner on the floor.
Eye hooks are another handy tool. If you have the luxury of inserting them into your walls at home, be sure to anchor them securely, use appropriately large sizes, and pre-drill the holes, being sure that the holes aren't too large. Again, the rule about overbuilding applies. There are a number of discreet places to insert eye-hooks without raising suspicion, such as inside a closet.
To give your partner a fuller bondage experience, try mummification. Though it is best done with an assistant, you can do it yourself. First of all gather your equipment: plastic wrap, duct tape, ace bandages, balls of cotton, a large towel, and of course those scissors. Have your sub stand at the foot of the bed facing away with hands behind the neck. Begin by wrapping his legs, spiraling up his thighs and torso. As you reach the nipples place a piece of cotton between them and the wrap. Once the arm pits are covered, have him lower his arms and encase the arms against the torso. You may want to use a hood or cover the eyes with an ace bandage. Now comes the tricky part. Spread the towel on the bed. Standing behind your partner, gently and carefully lean him down onto the bed. If he's a big guy, you'll see why the assistant is helpful.
Now that they are prone you can get fancier with the wrap, covering the feet, for example, or the head. Be certain that there is plenty of breathing room and that the mouth and nose hole is quite large. Now I would use the scissors to cut holes to expose the nipples and crotch. The cotton helps to make sure you don't cut skin. After all, most of my bondage is for the sake of later play! You can get still fancier by covering the wrap with duct tape, creating a complete mummification scene. Be sure to monitor your bottom's progress and vital signs.
Never leave him unattended.
Leather Restraints
Start your toy collection slowly and cheaply. As you get more experienced and know more about what you like and don't like, add more toys and equipment to your toy chest. Most everything else I'm going to list today can be home-made.
The first leather toy is a pair of wrist restraints. They come in either buckle or D-ring varieties. The buckle types are self-contained. The D-rings allow you to use padlocks. Some buckles can be locked as well and some restraints come with locking posts. Wrist restraints, as most leather toys, come padded or unpadded. The major difference between the two has to do with utility. If you are going to have long-term or more strenuous bondage scenes, the padding can be very helpful, even imperative. For ease of use and carrying convenience, the plain ones work well. With the restraints you'll want to make sure you have those bolt snaps mentioned earlier. Leather restraints have the advantage of being safer, since constriction is more easily avoided. Still, be careful to check extremities for circulation. I keep my locks locked so that I have to unlock them in order to use them. This insures that you have the key handy when and where you need it.
Ankle restraints are a bit bigger than wrist ones . Some come with attached chains, which is a nice feature. A set of ankle and wrist restraints serves well as the basic bondage kit, as it is useful for the spread-eagle position we all like.
Next, I would go for cock and ball restraints. There are countless varieties of ball stretchers, weights, separators, sheaths, cages, chastity devices. Parachutes are a good choice, they encircle the balls leaving small chains dangling for easy attachment of weights. You'll have to experiment with your boy's tolerance for weight. Start easy and add weight as you see how much his nuts can take. 6-8 pounds isn't unheard of, but again it all depends of his level of tolerance.
The possibilities with bondage are endless! A simple ace bandage or an old t shirt is sufficient for blind-folding, but you can get fancier with a leather or rubber blindfold. Another option is a spandex hood . The advantage of spandex is that you can breathe through it and see shadows. They come off very easily and quickly, just the kind of thing to use with a novice. Later, of course, you'll want to put a leather hood over it, but they are more expensive . Again the varieties of hoods are endless. I prefer the kind with open mouths, since I love to use the boy's mouth. They come with detachable gags and blind folds, and some have D-rings.
In a similar category, a head harness acts much like a hood except that much more of the head is exposed. He can hear, see, and use his mouth, but his head can't otherwise move, once I've attached the harness to the ceiling, cross, bed, or bondage box. Leather or chain harnesses wrap around the chest in a number of ways. By and large you will find them strictly decorative, though there's nothing wrong with dressing for the part.
Safety
Don't play when you're not alert. Don't play when tired or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Don't try things you aren't sure about. The front of the neck should never receive pressure of any kind.
Don't leave a bound person alone.
Poorly done bondage, particularly at the wrists or ankles, will inhibit circulation. The sub will feel a numbness or tingling. Temporary inhibition of circulation is not a problem unless the sub is feeling pain. Ask him whether he wants the bondage adjusted or removed. If bondage is pinching nerve paths, the sub will feel shooting pains or focused pain. Never interfere with nerve paths. If the sub believes the bondage is blocking a nerve path, remove the bondage immediately. Binding the wrists behind the back pulls breathing muscles taut. If your sub isnt very flexible, the reduced supply of oxygen can cause headaches or fainting. Be alert to his physical limitations and reactions.
Safewords
A safeword is a word, sound or action that is used by the slave to communicate during a scene. If you are not playing "roles" during a scene, you can just tell each other when you want something, but if you're gagged or "in role," communication can be more difficult. Common safewords are GREEN, YELLOW and RED. Make sure these are discussed and understood before play begins. The meanings are listed below:
GREEN means that I'm ok and comfortable with what you're doing to me.
YELLOW means I'm getting close to my physical and mental limits and the scene needs to slow down some.
RED means stop immediately!
If a slave says RED it's your responsibility as the master to stop what you're doing immediately and make sure he's ok. The slave's use of safewords is often times his only way to communicate clearly to the master how if he's being injured or simply cannot take any more.
Respect his limits and know when to stop! Be mindful of his position, even if its just standing or sitting. Elevated arms or legs, strained muscles or joints, and flimsy equipment all pose dangers, especially over several hours. Along similar lines remember that a person who is struggling, excited, angry, or afraid can exercise strength much greater than you might imagine.
The first stop is rope. There are two types that will work great for bondage play: clothesline and nylon. Go to any home supply store and get some of each. Cut it into various lengths between 7 and 15 feet. You'll want to have shorter lengths for some things such as tying feet, wrists, or cocks, and longer for others, such as around chests and arms or thighs. Once cut you may want to protect the ends from fraying. Nylon cord is easy to melt with a candle's flame. Heat it enough so that it begins to melt and then form it into a secure end. You'll have to be a bit more creative with the frayed ends of clothesline. I immersed the ends of my first ropes in liquid plastic and then let the ends dry by setting it on wax paper.
Clothesline is nice because it ties easily and is flexible. It tends to get dirty and sometimes the knots can be more difficult to untie. Nylon, on the other hand, seems to stay cleaner and is easier to loosen. The down side to this is that nylon knots tend to loosen too easily. You can get it in various thicknesses ( 3 , 3/8, 2 inch for instance) and lengths . Try using the 3/8 inch rope, any thinner is more dangerous and thicker will he harder to work with. In any case, among these three choices it's probably more a question of esthetics than safety, as long as you tie knots safely in the first place.
Avoid twine, any thin rope or thread, and any rope made of a rough material. Be mindful that the thinner the cord, the more liable it is to cut or otherwise damage skin. Thin cords are more dangerous too in that they will more easily cut off your bottom's circulation. An exception might be the use of nylon twine where you use lots of twine to weave your bondage around your bottom. Here I emphasize weaving as opposed to tying per se, though it may be just a matter of terminology. If the tying is done so that the twine remains snug enough to stay but loose enough so as not to constrict, the bondage can be a real work of art.
Ropes aren't the only tools for tying. Chains and lashing straps are somewhere to be found in every hardware store. A pair of 9 foot straps would be useful for bondage to a cross, chair, or sawhorse or to secure a bottom's arms to his chest. There's a use for stretch cords too if you have the place for them. When buying chain, a good size is 1/4". Measure how much you'll need beforehand, unless you have a pair of cutters at home to adjust it later. Add an inch or so to your measurements as it's always better to have it too long than too short. With the chains you'll also need bolt snaps . These are double-ended snaps, you'll need several of these to secure the chain. They're very cheap, so don't worry about buying too many.
Chain can serve several purposes. It certainly works as a bondage material, though you'll want to get leather restraints to attach your bottom to the chain. It's not as comfortable as rope but it does pose less danger. Here again it's a matter of taste and the kind of scene you're both into. More often chain serves as a great point of attachment. You can, for instance, run a length of chain around the edge of your bed and then tie your bottom spread eagle on the bed. Each link serves as a point of attachment. The nice thing about an arrangement such as this is that the equipment is portable, storable, easily hidden, and usable without altering furniture or walls.
Where to tie
Once you've got all your materials, you have to decide what to tie and where. You can either tie the bottom to himself, such as one wrist to another wrist; or tie him to some other object, such as a chair or hook. The first alternative, tying to himself, is certainly the one that takes the least amount of equipment. Rope and chain around flesh or clothes can be its own erotic look. As you bind your partner keep several safety points in mind. Never tie so as to constrict the flow of blood. Either make your knots loose enough to be safe or make them in such a way as to insure that the rope is sufficiently spaced. Putting inner wrist to inner wrist, for instance, and then tying around both wrists is a good way to bind safely. Never tie anything around his neck, obstruct the nasal passages, or gag completely.
Your bottom's position is also a safety factor. Never leave a person tied face down in a prone position. Never support your partner solely with ropes or chains unless they are super strong and the body is fully and safely supported by adequate harnesses.
One of the reasons we use bondage, such as in a whipping session, is to insure that the bottom can struggle safely. The last thing you want is a boy who is flailing left and right. Bondage that is too loose may cause rope burns. The over-riding principal in any bondage scene is to check with your boy often to insure that all is going well. Let him know to warn you of numbness or dizziness. It's your responsibility as the top to make sure that no body parts cool off, a sign of restricted circulation.
An Introduction to bondage assumes that you want to use what's handy for equipment. In the long run you'll build or acquire more elaborate bondage gear such as sawhorse, dog cage, or restraint table. But what's a beginner to do? Look around. Use a footstool, straight back chair, bed, desk, table, toilet, or staircase railing. All of these offer practical points for attaching, depending upon your purpose. Chairs work well for bondage for the sake of bondage or to tie your partner for a tickling session, CBT, or nipple play. A bed is more conducive to whipping his back or fucking. A low stool and a bed with a foot board combine very well. Perhaps you could lay a chair on its back to restrain your partner on the floor.
Eye hooks are another handy tool. If you have the luxury of inserting them into your walls at home, be sure to anchor them securely, use appropriately large sizes, and pre-drill the holes, being sure that the holes aren't too large. Again, the rule about overbuilding applies. There are a number of discreet places to insert eye-hooks without raising suspicion, such as inside a closet.
To give your partner a fuller bondage experience, try mummification. Though it is best done with an assistant, you can do it yourself. First of all gather your equipment: plastic wrap, duct tape, ace bandages, balls of cotton, a large towel, and of course those scissors. Have your sub stand at the foot of the bed facing away with hands behind the neck. Begin by wrapping his legs, spiraling up his thighs and torso. As you reach the nipples place a piece of cotton between them and the wrap. Once the arm pits are covered, have him lower his arms and encase the arms against the torso. You may want to use a hood or cover the eyes with an ace bandage. Now comes the tricky part. Spread the towel on the bed. Standing behind your partner, gently and carefully lean him down onto the bed. If he's a big guy, you'll see why the assistant is helpful.
Now that they are prone you can get fancier with the wrap, covering the feet, for example, or the head. Be certain that there is plenty of breathing room and that the mouth and nose hole is quite large. Now I would use the scissors to cut holes to expose the nipples and crotch. The cotton helps to make sure you don't cut skin. After all, most of my bondage is for the sake of later play! You can get still fancier by covering the wrap with duct tape, creating a complete mummification scene. Be sure to monitor your bottom's progress and vital signs.
Never leave him unattended.
Leather Restraints
Start your toy collection slowly and cheaply. As you get more experienced and know more about what you like and don't like, add more toys and equipment to your toy chest. Most everything else I'm going to list today can be home-made.
The first leather toy is a pair of wrist restraints. They come in either buckle or D-ring varieties. The buckle types are self-contained. The D-rings allow you to use padlocks. Some buckles can be locked as well and some restraints come with locking posts. Wrist restraints, as most leather toys, come padded or unpadded. The major difference between the two has to do with utility. If you are going to have long-term or more strenuous bondage scenes, the padding can be very helpful, even imperative. For ease of use and carrying convenience, the plain ones work well. With the restraints you'll want to make sure you have those bolt snaps mentioned earlier. Leather restraints have the advantage of being safer, since constriction is more easily avoided. Still, be careful to check extremities for circulation. I keep my locks locked so that I have to unlock them in order to use them. This insures that you have the key handy when and where you need it.
Ankle restraints are a bit bigger than wrist ones . Some come with attached chains, which is a nice feature. A set of ankle and wrist restraints serves well as the basic bondage kit, as it is useful for the spread-eagle position we all like.
Next, I would go for cock and ball restraints. There are countless varieties of ball stretchers, weights, separators, sheaths, cages, chastity devices. Parachutes are a good choice, they encircle the balls leaving small chains dangling for easy attachment of weights. You'll have to experiment with your boy's tolerance for weight. Start easy and add weight as you see how much his nuts can take. 6-8 pounds isn't unheard of, but again it all depends of his level of tolerance.
The possibilities with bondage are endless! A simple ace bandage or an old t shirt is sufficient for blind-folding, but you can get fancier with a leather or rubber blindfold. Another option is a spandex hood . The advantage of spandex is that you can breathe through it and see shadows. They come off very easily and quickly, just the kind of thing to use with a novice. Later, of course, you'll want to put a leather hood over it, but they are more expensive . Again the varieties of hoods are endless. I prefer the kind with open mouths, since I love to use the boy's mouth. They come with detachable gags and blind folds, and some have D-rings.
In a similar category, a head harness acts much like a hood except that much more of the head is exposed. He can hear, see, and use his mouth, but his head can't otherwise move, once I've attached the harness to the ceiling, cross, bed, or bondage box. Leather or chain harnesses wrap around the chest in a number of ways. By and large you will find them strictly decorative, though there's nothing wrong with dressing for the part.
Safety
Don't play when you're not alert. Don't play when tired or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Don't try things you aren't sure about. The front of the neck should never receive pressure of any kind.
Don't leave a bound person alone.
Poorly done bondage, particularly at the wrists or ankles, will inhibit circulation. The sub will feel a numbness or tingling. Temporary inhibition of circulation is not a problem unless the sub is feeling pain. Ask him whether he wants the bondage adjusted or removed. If bondage is pinching nerve paths, the sub will feel shooting pains or focused pain. Never interfere with nerve paths. If the sub believes the bondage is blocking a nerve path, remove the bondage immediately. Binding the wrists behind the back pulls breathing muscles taut. If your sub isnt very flexible, the reduced supply of oxygen can cause headaches or fainting. Be alert to his physical limitations and reactions.
Safewords
A safeword is a word, sound or action that is used by the slave to communicate during a scene. If you are not playing "roles" during a scene, you can just tell each other when you want something, but if you're gagged or "in role," communication can be more difficult. Common safewords are GREEN, YELLOW and RED. Make sure these are discussed and understood before play begins. The meanings are listed below:
GREEN means that I'm ok and comfortable with what you're doing to me.
YELLOW means I'm getting close to my physical and mental limits and the scene needs to slow down some.
RED means stop immediately!
If a slave says RED it's your responsibility as the master to stop what you're doing immediately and make sure he's ok. The slave's use of safewords is often times his only way to communicate clearly to the master how if he's being injured or simply cannot take any more.
Respect his limits and know when to stop! Be mindful of his position, even if its just standing or sitting. Elevated arms or legs, strained muscles or joints, and flimsy equipment all pose dangers, especially over several hours. Along similar lines remember that a person who is struggling, excited, angry, or afraid can exercise strength much greater than you might imagine.
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