This article is part of a series for beginners interested in S&M/B&D
Chastity play, as a sexual fetish, involves one person having control over the orgasms of another. It dates back hundreds of years and has been used in various forms to enforce faithfulness or prevent masturbation.
Simply put chastity is about denying your cock sexual stimulation, and giving control of your orgasms to your master or husband. Chastity is not about total abstinence from sex, because the chaste man has a release date and hopefully a rare but overwhelming orgasm to look forward to. The release date and control of orgasm is what makes chastity work. The idea of having your cock enslaved and being denied orgasm can be an overwhelming and powerful sensation. A man that desperately wants to masturbate or even just touch himself is not able to, and that heightens fantasies as well as frustrations. Some men have even spoken of a euphoria associated with continuous orgasm denial. There are several reasons for controlling your slave's sexual drive.
He will serve you better, in time he will attune himself more closely to his status as submissive. And when he is allowed to cum, it will he more meaningful and substantial than if he jerks off 2 or 3 times a day and then is not 'in the mood' for his Master. When he is allowed to unload, his orgasms will be extremely powerful and intense. Men locked in chastity have fewer orgasms, but those which they do have are more intense, more powerful and usually much greater volume than before.
The basic understanding of why a chastity device is so effective is this: it allows you to totally control your partner's masturbation and orgasms. It's a physical symbol of total ownership of the slave's body. Its also about your submission to your Master and your willingness to please him, knowing that if you remain obedient you will be granted release at some point. The feeling of another man controlling your orgasms can be highly intense, even when you're both apart. Some men will use this as a way to control their cheating husband and ensure he remains faithful and monogamous.
Your ability to control your boy's masturbation and to provide the only sexual relief for him is a powerful tool. And so a slave learns to appreciate his orgasms more as he learns the very gift of each permitted orgasm. The energy and effort expelled during self masturbation should be diverted to paying attention to your Master. Remember that a chaste man within a loving relationship is saving himself for his Master, and that includes his soul, his body, his mind and the spiritual energy within him.
In some relationships the partners will have a chastity contract, signed and agreed by both, which clearly sets out what is expected of the slave, as well as the responsibilities of the Master, commonly referred to as the keyholder (since he holds the keys to the chastity device).
Most devices are suitable for long-term wear, but then again its up to you how long you want to try it for. If you're just starting out, I would suggest wearing it just a day or so until you get used to it and want to try longer periods. If it's the right size and doesn't cut off circulation or cause pain, wearing it is very comfortable and not detectable under loose clothing. There isn't one single chastity belt or device which meets the needs of everyone. Everyone has different personal preferences and needs. Realistically, there is probably no chastity device that is 100% foolproof as far as preventing orgasm. The best you can hope for is that the device you choose will make ejaculation extremely difficult. For some men, their device does prevent masturbation. Others are able to reach orgasm while locked in their device. On the other hand, to see a straining cock locked tight in a transparent chastity device while teasing him to orgasm can be fun just by itself!
To find the device best for you, you need to consider several things: your lifestyle (how will the device fit and function while you're at work?), your body shape, your cock size, and how much you want to spend.
Custom made devices
Custom built chastity devices are an option if you're willing to spend the extra money and want a close to perfect fit combined with a high level of security. Several online companies make these, all according to your exact measurements, including Steelwerks Extreme and Neosteel. These can range from actual steel belts that fit like a jockstrap to metal or plastic cages. They can be expensive, but if it is sized properly will generally be more escape proof.
Off the shelf devices
These are generally less expensive and more readily available for purchase. Options here include the clear plastic cockcages (CB-2000, CB-3000, the Curve), the metal Houdini chastity device, or the Tollyboy (a steel chastity belt). Probably the most common device in use is the CB-2000 or 3000, which is made of an extremely durable polycarbonate plastic. Your cock and balls fit thru the ring portion, which attaches to the cage for the cock. Any small lock (key or combination) will keep it locked up tight. You can also use plastic locks if you're traveling and need to pass through airport security. They cant be cut off, however each lock is numbered so you will know if its been tampered with!
Starting Out
Whatever device you choose, you need to allow time for your body to become accustomed to how it fits you and how it feels for everyday activities. At first, just wear it for a day or overnight to get a feel for how it fits. For the first couple of weeks, don't push yourself into wearing it for long periods. During this initial settling in period you will need to check it and make sure there's no loss of circulation of chaffing. Perhaps initially just wearing it for a few hours each evening around the house when you get home from work, and gradually work up from there. Some men are so comfortable with their device or belt that they do not need this trial period, for others it is essential. No two devices are the same, and no two bodies are identical. What is right for one, may not be for someone else. Thereafter weekly inspections and cleaning of your chastity device should become the norm. If you have a keyholder, he will probably want to supervise these sessions to ensure that you don't ejaculate.
Cleaning
Daily cleaning is best done while in the shower, as you can direct the jets of water into the tube. Another easy way to do this is to use a big plastic bowl filled with soapy water, just submerge your cock and balls and splash it around a bit. Drying it off afterwards can be tricky, sometimes q- tips work well, or even a hair dryer. After its all dry, make sure to apply water-based lube to your cock and the inside of the device. The idea is to reduce as much friction as possible. Also, you may need to reapply the lube a few times per day as it will gradually dry out.
It's important to understand is that while most chastity devices are generally comfortable, it really needs to be removed from time to time if for no other reason that to give it a good cleaning. It's also going to make things easier on the sub to have it removed for a brief time just to give his cock and balls a rest before he's locked back up.
Spare Keys
A safety factor that you should always have is the use of an emergency key. Usually the Master will keep the spare key, but the slave can have one too. Just set it up so that he can only use it in an extreme emergency only. Use of this key must be very obvious to your keyholder, so that he may deal with the situation and he sees fit. There are several clever ways you can let your sub have an spare key. One way is to laminate the key onto a credit card sized piece of plastic. This way he will have access to it in an emergency, yet will be very easy to spot if he has tried to rip through it when he shouldn't! An easier way you can do this is to hide the spare key (very well) inside his/your house. That way, if he has to remove it in an emergency, he can call or email you to find out where the key is hidden. And of course, he would need to have a damn good reason for being unlocked! If the lock you're using is a combination lock, another way you can keep yourself honest (or someone else for that matter), is by using a program called TimeLock. It's computer software that allows you to encrypt a picture of the combination to the lock for any number of hours, days, weeks or months you choose. This works great if it's a case where you cant be present to unlock him, or if it's a long distance chastity arrangement.
One important point about chastity is that the absence of stimulation will cause a gradual decrease in horniness. Since we are counting on our chastity play to enhance sexuality, we have to make sure that doesn't happen. The trick is to keep him teased and aroused while he's locked up. Ideally, the wearer will be conditioned to obey his Master's wishes in order to earn that long awaited orgasm. Of course he isn't being forced into this, he does have a choice. That's what makes the game so interesting. If he chooses to be uncooperative or doesn't follow orders, he will earn extra time locked up before he can ejaculate. He has to balance his extreme sexual frustration with his desire to be in control. It's powerful stuff. There's no need for yelling, force, or any other methods of expressing displeasure. A simple statement like, "Five more days" will have an extremely strong effect on him. Given that there are no serious infractions, regular sexual releases should be set up so that he has something to look forward to.
Some guys will even switch roles for chastity play. The normally dominant man is locked up by his submissive partner. It makes for interesting negotiations. Bear in mind that this gets even more interesting if you "remind" him of his condition by spending a good amount of time each day teasing him and edging him. Orgasm denial is a definite power trip to start with, and having to endure teasing without release magnifies the effect . I like to restrain my slave's hands before I lock up his cock. The main reason is that it places me in the position of authority. What can he possibly do without the use of his hands? He immediately becomes submissive to me, and I become the Master that's in charge of his orgasm. He can't cum until I decide to let him. There's also a tremendous amount of symbolism in not allowing him to touch his own cock. It's part of what makes this such an effective form of denial, and makes him focus all his attention and obedience on me since I'm the only one who can potentially unlock him and give him the orgasm he wants so badly. See how much fun this can be?
Once he's tied down, I lube up his cock and balls (and the inside of the cage portion) to reduce friction. His cock will need to be soft before you can put on the device, so if he is hard (and he probably will be), just apply a ziploc bag filled with ice on his cock and balls til its soft. Then I carefully attach the device - taking care not to pinch any skin or hair - and snap the lock closed. He's now putty in my hands. I generally begin by setting a minimum amount of time he's to remain locked.. Once he has served his "sentence", he knows he's going to have a chance at an orgasm and will be begging for release.
There are also conditions to his behavior and penalties for infractions. I expect him to treat me with the utmost respect, so talking back or a bad attitude will result in additional days being added to his cum restriction. It never fails to amaze me how abruptly he'll stop an unacceptable behavior when I tell him he's earned an extra week locked up.......
He's Locked Up, What Do I Do Now?
Try to keep him as turned on and excited as you can, for as long as you can. Remove his chastity device often, stroke him to the edge of orgasm several times without letting him cum, and then lock him back in. A good way to further remind him of his place as a pig is to make him eat his cum afterwards. Sometimes I like to make him cum into a shot glass (gives new meaning to the name doesn't it!), then make him drink the whole thing in front of me.
You may find that after a long period of using chastity, that he may get used to not cumming for such a long time, and his body will adapt to it. If you find this happening, then it's a good idea to mix up his orgasm cycle. From time to time, give him many orgasms in a short period of time, so his body gets used to cumming frequently again before you withdraw them. You will find his arousal so much greater on his next denial cycle. It is best to do this in a way that becomes unpleasant for him, such as forcing him to shoot his load more than 5 times per day. A fun game to play is to give him a task to cum, say 10-15 times over a two day period. (He might not be able to cum this many times, but if he can then increase this number). For every time he doesn't cum, just add a week to his next period of orgasm denial.
When he is denied orgasms for several weeks or more, there is the risk of him having a wet dream (and therefore an orgasm) without permission. If he is a good slave, he would confess this to his Master and await his judgement. In either case, the Master should consider milking his slave on a monthly basis to keep that from happening. Milking, or prostate massage, will drain the semen out without any feeling of orgasm at all, thereby allowing you as Master to continue your control over him and still keep him locked up and frustrated with no worries about of an unwanted wet dream.
Simply put chastity is about denying your cock sexual stimulation, and giving control of your orgasms to your master or husband. Chastity is not about total abstinence from sex, because the chaste man has a release date and hopefully a rare but overwhelming orgasm to look forward to. The release date and control of orgasm is what makes chastity work. The idea of having your cock enslaved and being denied orgasm can be an overwhelming and powerful sensation. A man that desperately wants to masturbate or even just touch himself is not able to, and that heightens fantasies as well as frustrations. Some men have even spoken of a euphoria associated with continuous orgasm denial. There are several reasons for controlling your slave's sexual drive.
He will serve you better, in time he will attune himself more closely to his status as submissive. And when he is allowed to cum, it will he more meaningful and substantial than if he jerks off 2 or 3 times a day and then is not 'in the mood' for his Master. When he is allowed to unload, his orgasms will be extremely powerful and intense. Men locked in chastity have fewer orgasms, but those which they do have are more intense, more powerful and usually much greater volume than before.
The basic understanding of why a chastity device is so effective is this: it allows you to totally control your partner's masturbation and orgasms. It's a physical symbol of total ownership of the slave's body. Its also about your submission to your Master and your willingness to please him, knowing that if you remain obedient you will be granted release at some point. The feeling of another man controlling your orgasms can be highly intense, even when you're both apart. Some men will use this as a way to control their cheating husband and ensure he remains faithful and monogamous.
Your ability to control your boy's masturbation and to provide the only sexual relief for him is a powerful tool. And so a slave learns to appreciate his orgasms more as he learns the very gift of each permitted orgasm. The energy and effort expelled during self masturbation should be diverted to paying attention to your Master. Remember that a chaste man within a loving relationship is saving himself for his Master, and that includes his soul, his body, his mind and the spiritual energy within him.
In some relationships the partners will have a chastity contract, signed and agreed by both, which clearly sets out what is expected of the slave, as well as the responsibilities of the Master, commonly referred to as the keyholder (since he holds the keys to the chastity device).
Most devices are suitable for long-term wear, but then again its up to you how long you want to try it for. If you're just starting out, I would suggest wearing it just a day or so until you get used to it and want to try longer periods. If it's the right size and doesn't cut off circulation or cause pain, wearing it is very comfortable and not detectable under loose clothing. There isn't one single chastity belt or device which meets the needs of everyone. Everyone has different personal preferences and needs. Realistically, there is probably no chastity device that is 100% foolproof as far as preventing orgasm. The best you can hope for is that the device you choose will make ejaculation extremely difficult. For some men, their device does prevent masturbation. Others are able to reach orgasm while locked in their device. On the other hand, to see a straining cock locked tight in a transparent chastity device while teasing him to orgasm can be fun just by itself!
To find the device best for you, you need to consider several things: your lifestyle (how will the device fit and function while you're at work?), your body shape, your cock size, and how much you want to spend.
Custom made devices
Custom built chastity devices are an option if you're willing to spend the extra money and want a close to perfect fit combined with a high level of security. Several online companies make these, all according to your exact measurements, including Steelwerks Extreme and Neosteel. These can range from actual steel belts that fit like a jockstrap to metal or plastic cages. They can be expensive, but if it is sized properly will generally be more escape proof.
Off the shelf devices
These are generally less expensive and more readily available for purchase. Options here include the clear plastic cockcages (CB-2000, CB-3000, the Curve), the metal Houdini chastity device, or the Tollyboy (a steel chastity belt). Probably the most common device in use is the CB-2000 or 3000, which is made of an extremely durable polycarbonate plastic. Your cock and balls fit thru the ring portion, which attaches to the cage for the cock. Any small lock (key or combination) will keep it locked up tight. You can also use plastic locks if you're traveling and need to pass through airport security. They cant be cut off, however each lock is numbered so you will know if its been tampered with!
Starting Out
Whatever device you choose, you need to allow time for your body to become accustomed to how it fits you and how it feels for everyday activities. At first, just wear it for a day or overnight to get a feel for how it fits. For the first couple of weeks, don't push yourself into wearing it for long periods. During this initial settling in period you will need to check it and make sure there's no loss of circulation of chaffing. Perhaps initially just wearing it for a few hours each evening around the house when you get home from work, and gradually work up from there. Some men are so comfortable with their device or belt that they do not need this trial period, for others it is essential. No two devices are the same, and no two bodies are identical. What is right for one, may not be for someone else. Thereafter weekly inspections and cleaning of your chastity device should become the norm. If you have a keyholder, he will probably want to supervise these sessions to ensure that you don't ejaculate.
Cleaning
Daily cleaning is best done while in the shower, as you can direct the jets of water into the tube. Another easy way to do this is to use a big plastic bowl filled with soapy water, just submerge your cock and balls and splash it around a bit. Drying it off afterwards can be tricky, sometimes q- tips work well, or even a hair dryer. After its all dry, make sure to apply water-based lube to your cock and the inside of the device. The idea is to reduce as much friction as possible. Also, you may need to reapply the lube a few times per day as it will gradually dry out.
It's important to understand is that while most chastity devices are generally comfortable, it really needs to be removed from time to time if for no other reason that to give it a good cleaning. It's also going to make things easier on the sub to have it removed for a brief time just to give his cock and balls a rest before he's locked back up.
Spare Keys
A safety factor that you should always have is the use of an emergency key. Usually the Master will keep the spare key, but the slave can have one too. Just set it up so that he can only use it in an extreme emergency only. Use of this key must be very obvious to your keyholder, so that he may deal with the situation and he sees fit. There are several clever ways you can let your sub have an spare key. One way is to laminate the key onto a credit card sized piece of plastic. This way he will have access to it in an emergency, yet will be very easy to spot if he has tried to rip through it when he shouldn't! An easier way you can do this is to hide the spare key (very well) inside his/your house. That way, if he has to remove it in an emergency, he can call or email you to find out where the key is hidden. And of course, he would need to have a damn good reason for being unlocked! If the lock you're using is a combination lock, another way you can keep yourself honest (or someone else for that matter), is by using a program called TimeLock. It's computer software that allows you to encrypt a picture of the combination to the lock for any number of hours, days, weeks or months you choose. This works great if it's a case where you cant be present to unlock him, or if it's a long distance chastity arrangement.
One important point about chastity is that the absence of stimulation will cause a gradual decrease in horniness. Since we are counting on our chastity play to enhance sexuality, we have to make sure that doesn't happen. The trick is to keep him teased and aroused while he's locked up. Ideally, the wearer will be conditioned to obey his Master's wishes in order to earn that long awaited orgasm. Of course he isn't being forced into this, he does have a choice. That's what makes the game so interesting. If he chooses to be uncooperative or doesn't follow orders, he will earn extra time locked up before he can ejaculate. He has to balance his extreme sexual frustration with his desire to be in control. It's powerful stuff. There's no need for yelling, force, or any other methods of expressing displeasure. A simple statement like, "Five more days" will have an extremely strong effect on him. Given that there are no serious infractions, regular sexual releases should be set up so that he has something to look forward to.
Some guys will even switch roles for chastity play. The normally dominant man is locked up by his submissive partner. It makes for interesting negotiations. Bear in mind that this gets even more interesting if you "remind" him of his condition by spending a good amount of time each day teasing him and edging him. Orgasm denial is a definite power trip to start with, and having to endure teasing without release magnifies the effect . I like to restrain my slave's hands before I lock up his cock. The main reason is that it places me in the position of authority. What can he possibly do without the use of his hands? He immediately becomes submissive to me, and I become the Master that's in charge of his orgasm. He can't cum until I decide to let him. There's also a tremendous amount of symbolism in not allowing him to touch his own cock. It's part of what makes this such an effective form of denial, and makes him focus all his attention and obedience on me since I'm the only one who can potentially unlock him and give him the orgasm he wants so badly. See how much fun this can be?
Once he's tied down, I lube up his cock and balls (and the inside of the cage portion) to reduce friction. His cock will need to be soft before you can put on the device, so if he is hard (and he probably will be), just apply a ziploc bag filled with ice on his cock and balls til its soft. Then I carefully attach the device - taking care not to pinch any skin or hair - and snap the lock closed. He's now putty in my hands. I generally begin by setting a minimum amount of time he's to remain locked.. Once he has served his "sentence", he knows he's going to have a chance at an orgasm and will be begging for release.
There are also conditions to his behavior and penalties for infractions. I expect him to treat me with the utmost respect, so talking back or a bad attitude will result in additional days being added to his cum restriction. It never fails to amaze me how abruptly he'll stop an unacceptable behavior when I tell him he's earned an extra week locked up.......
He's Locked Up, What Do I Do Now?
Try to keep him as turned on and excited as you can, for as long as you can. Remove his chastity device often, stroke him to the edge of orgasm several times without letting him cum, and then lock him back in. A good way to further remind him of his place as a pig is to make him eat his cum afterwards. Sometimes I like to make him cum into a shot glass (gives new meaning to the name doesn't it!), then make him drink the whole thing in front of me.
You may find that after a long period of using chastity, that he may get used to not cumming for such a long time, and his body will adapt to it. If you find this happening, then it's a good idea to mix up his orgasm cycle. From time to time, give him many orgasms in a short period of time, so his body gets used to cumming frequently again before you withdraw them. You will find his arousal so much greater on his next denial cycle. It is best to do this in a way that becomes unpleasant for him, such as forcing him to shoot his load more than 5 times per day. A fun game to play is to give him a task to cum, say 10-15 times over a two day period. (He might not be able to cum this many times, but if he can then increase this number). For every time he doesn't cum, just add a week to his next period of orgasm denial.
When he is denied orgasms for several weeks or more, there is the risk of him having a wet dream (and therefore an orgasm) without permission. If he is a good slave, he would confess this to his Master and await his judgement. In either case, the Master should consider milking his slave on a monthly basis to keep that from happening. Milking, or prostate massage, will drain the semen out without any feeling of orgasm at all, thereby allowing you as Master to continue your control over him and still keep him locked up and frustrated with no worries about of an unwanted wet dream.
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